Differences
by CrushedGlass
Summary: Jade lied to Beck, but she couldn't lie to herself. Tori was just the one to help her out. JORI
1. Chapter 1

There was a shift in Tori as the time came, and Jade watched how her muscles seemed to tense but her posture seemed to relax at the same time. She became poised and confident, and the microphone fit in her hand like she had been born with it.

This Tori interested her.

This Tori was much more a predator than the prey she usually was, and it engaged the part of Jade that would always rather enjoy a fair fight over an easy kill. Yes, this side of Tori captured Jade every single time she met with it.

As the Latina took to the stage, she glanced in Jade's direction and held her gaze for a moment, before she was forced to watch where she was treading around the still-uncovered wiring from the lights and her eyes fell away.

Jade wondered if her face had shown her trail of thoughts or not, or if Tori only saw dislike regardless of what was really there after all this time. Probably the latter.

"Doesn't she look great in that dress? Red's so her colour!" Cat skidded down the bench from a jogging start, her feet out in front of her, jostling Jade slightly as she came to a stop.

 _Yes._ Jade agreed inwardly, raking her eyes down Tori's back and pretending to be looking at her nails, half hidden behind her hair.

"She looks okay." She said aloud, wondering if she usually sounded this mediocre when she downplayed Tori.

"I made the dress from start, I hope it's comfortable." Cat continued, peering at it as if she might somehow be able to spot whether it was or not.

"I'm sure it's fine."

Cat stopped peering and watched Jade closely. The goth didn't look at her directly, instead continuing to stare at the black nail polish and monitoring her friend's face from her peripherals.

"Jade, are you okay?"

"Fine." She sounded bored. At least she tried to sound bored. Cat didn't seem to know whether to buy or not.

"It's just, you didn't insult Tori, or my dress, or me for bumping into you."

Cat's big brown eyes watched her dolefully, as though she was expecting Jade to be upset with her for even asking.

"Cat, I'm fine." Jade snapped, shaking herself back into her usual fortress-like mentality.

"Okay." Cat seemed to take this harshness as the all-clear for the other girl's mental state, and resumed watching for signs of Tori's dress being less than perfect.

Jade risked another look up at the Latina whilst Cat was distracted, but snapped her eyes back to the floor when she found Tori already looking over her shoulder at her whilst Robbie sorted out her back-up mic.

Andre gave her a cautious thumbs-up from behind his keyboard and Jade pulled a placatory face somewhere in between friendly and uninterested. He took it on the chin, his smile never faltering, and went back to his conversation with the guitarist.

"Hey."

"Hey, Cat. Jade."

Beck sat down on the other side of Cat, slinging his rucksack onto the floor and clutching an almost-empty water bottle.

Jade nodded without looking at him. Their truce was still fragile and, shallow as it might seem, would probably remain so until either she needed help from him or he had something she wanted.

Even now Beck did have his uses though, absorbing Cat's chatter and entertaining her enough with his answers that Jade managed a brief five minutes of peace, retracted back into her own head.

God, for a coffee. For her bed.

"Okay." Tori's voice was like an elbow in the ribs.

Once again, the goth looked up, watching as Tori paced to stand on her mark and look around at everyone.

"Thanks for coming to rehearsal, guys- Andre?"

"All good." He said, gesturing to the keyboard.

"Great, well- here goes." Once again, her gaze shifted almost a little too overtly to the icy blue eyes in the audience, and Jade began to wonder if Tori had perhaps caught her watching more than she had realised.

They played Countdown first, followed by I Want You Back, and then took a short break whilst the guitarist's swapped around and adjusted their instruments and Andre went for a drink.

Jade had to admit that Tori had flourished into an incredible vocalist since she had joined the school. Her performance skills rivalled Jade's own.

Some of the crowd which had their own extra-curricular activities to attend were dispersing around them and for a moment, Jade considered joining them. She wanted nothing more than to go home, she didn't know why she was dragging herself through this. Her fingertips closed around her bag and she tensed her legs, but let the bag go and relaxed again with a long sigh as Tori re-appeared on the stage. Why she suddenly gave a shit, she couldn't say, but for some reason she couldn't allow herself to walk away in Tori's view. It would almost certainly hurt the other girls feelings on some level, and there was a disapproving clicking in the back of her head that was usually reserved for badly edited movie trailers and people who put sugar in their coffee.

When Tori noticed that Jade had stayed even after Cat had apologised and rushed off to her hairdressers appointment, her eyebrows hitched a little and she blinked, sparing a look at Beck as if he might somehow have had something to do with it.

After a purposefully careless look in return, Jade pointedly ignore both of them. If Tori could find anything to criticise about the situation, she didn't let it show.

"Okay, the last one, mainly to see what the new guy's got." Tori beamed at the guitarist, who was younger and shyer looking than the one that had been before him.

Tori sang Fast Car as though she had been through every mentioned bit of turmoil and pain personally, and Jade caught herself staring again, too entrapped in her performance to remember she wasn't supposed to outwardly like the singer.

The audience applauded so hard after the final word that it sounded twice the size it was, and even Jade gave her a slow, grudging kind of clap. That had definitely been... something.

Tori smiled and waved and backed off stage, and the rest of the crowd began to stand, and stretch around her. Some people congratulated her as they left, some high-fived, some merely nodded in a strange form of respect.

Tori propped the mic up on a chair, unclipped her back-up mic, and immediately became smaller, more deer-like.

It was infuriating.

But that didn't mean Jade didn't still need her help. She pursed her lips and walked over to Tori as though she was unaware she was doing it.

"Jade!" Tori was trying to sound casual and it was obvious. The hesitant way she clasped her hands together and how the bright, customer-service smile was pinned on like an after thought gave her away. Tori had been strained around her lately, and Jade wasn't exactly ignorant as to why.

"I wasn't expecting you to come see me. Or stay for the songs. Or, you know... turn up." She winced, as though what she had said hadn't been as fair as it was.

"Yeah, well..." Jade was fixedly not looking her in the eye, but at the space just behind her left shoulder.

"Did you... want something?"

Perhaps she had imagined it, but Jade felt there was something distinctly yet subtly accusatory about her tone.

The goth was acutely aware of the door to the black box shutting as the last person other than themselves left, and of the sudden pressure the following silence put on her to speak.

"I-" _Yes, Tori, A favour- a pretty big one actually and one that you could probably ruin me with but one that I have to ask you specifically for because I have no one else after years of being a career bitch._

"No. Nothing. Never mind. Nice, uh... nice songs." She said the last word as though she wasn't sure if it was one, or, if it was, if it was the right one.

"Okay." Tori now looked suspicious. Jade had been nasty to her since they had first crossed paths, but for the last few weeks it had escalated beyond the pale. Until she had gotten through the first half of the last song incident free, Tori had actually been fairly convinced Jade had been planning some kind of sabotage.

"Well, thanks. I'll see you Monday, I guess."

Jade cursed the day she was born for being such a coward, and decided against saying something cruel.

"Yeah. Monday. Laters." She walked away too quickly, and grimaced as she caught Tori's questioning expression from the corner of her eye as she half-turned to push the door open and leave.

-X-

Outside of Tori's house, rain drummed loudly down on the sunroof of Jade's car. The headlights were off, the engine killed, and the radio silenced. For a little while, Jade just sat, watching Tori argue with Trina silently from the warmly lit living room, their movements seeming more theatrical for the lack of sound, a silent movie in full colour.

Driving to Beck's trailer was a temptation Jade couldn't deny. Sure, he was with the bimbo from his math class now, but she knew that he'd change that pretty quickly if he thought Jade might come back to fill the void she had so unexpectedly left behind.

 _And what about the void he left behind? Is he going to fill it again? Did he ever? How long are you going to sit trying to hammer a square into a triangle-shaped hole?_

Jade felt her stomach drop as she considered the alternative. And anyway- she had left him. She had gotten this far. She couldn't back out and be left with nothing.

She pushed the door open with a dull clunk and the drumming of the rain became a harsh hissing. She pulled her hood up, ran to the shelter of Tori's porch, and then pulled it back down, hugging herself and looking from the doorbell to the safety of her car and back again.

She pressed it.

"I lied, on Friday. I want a favour. _Need_ a favour."

It preceded even 'hello' and came out in the kind of rush that gave away Jade's uncharacteristic nerves.

Tori wet her lips and glanced at the floor. Until Friday, the goth hadn't once acknowledged her this month apart from when she wanted to snipe at her shortcomings, had ignored her all week when Tori had needed help with her script writing and now suddenly, at 11pm on a Sunday night, she needed a _favour_?

Tori's mind coiled around the idea angrily. She should slam the damned door in her face; slam the door, delete her from her phone, from the Slap, from everything and be just as cold to the goth as the goth had been to her.

"Sure." She said.

"I- really?" Jade seemed awkward, caught off guard. When Tori didn't change her mind, she added, "I just thought 'cause I've been a raging bitch to you all month and, well, forever, that you might…y'know. Slam the door in my face."

Tori smiled a slightly forced smile. "Idea never crossed my mind." She said with a sigh, stepping aside to let the other girl in.

"Okay, so, what do you want?" Tori asked slowly, when Jade wasn't forthcoming.

"I… Okay, promise not to freak out."

"I am making no promises." Tori said firmly, not sure where this was going.

"You have to promise." Jade insisted, not looking at her.

"Alright, fine, fine, I promise. But you might wanna come upstairs first because Trina's decided tonight is her night to watch TV, _again_." She shouted the last work over her shoulder into the house, where Trina shouted back some brusque insult from one room, and her mother scolded them both from another.

Jade nodded and followed Tori up the stairs into the room she had only even been into once, alone.

She fiddled with her sleeve and Tori had to admit to herself that it was strange to see her so nervous.

"I-" She sighed, letting go of her sleeve and looking up at the ceiling as if there might be a script she could follow taped to it.

"Okay, remember when I left Beck? Well, it wasn't actually because of the Emily thing. I mean- the skank didn't exactly help, but I… well, I suppose I kind of used it as an excuse."

"To break up with him?" Tori guessed, elongating the 'to' whilst her brain tried to work out what Jade was really saying.

"Yeah. To break up with him."

"But… So why did you break up with him, if it wasn't because of 'the Emily thing'?"

"Because I was confused."

"As in it was all a misunderstanding and you didn't really mean to break up with him?" Tori had heard that record before.

"No, as in I didn't understand what I wanted any more and so I broke up with him. But I didn't have it in me to tell him that and so I used the Emily thing."

"Oh." Tori sat down on the edge of the bed, too interested in the conversation to remember that she had been mad at Jade just minutes before. This was the first time Jade had talked to her like a real person in a long while, and Tori was a sucker for it every time.

"So- what were you so confused about that made you leave Beck after so long?"

Jade went back to the thread that was sticking out from her sleeve.

"Well, that's kind of what I need your help with."

 _Need help? It was a favour a minute ago._

"Alright." Tori pressed, feeling like Jade was avoiding the point.

"If you breathe a word of this to anyone I swear I'll-"

"End my miserable life and make it look like an accident, I know the drill, Jade." Tori rolled her eyes and Jade, whilst looking like she was still unsure about what she was about to say, seemed satisfied.

"I want you to kiss me."

Tori choked on her breath. "I- you what?"

"You heard what I said, Vega."

Tori just stared. "What- that's what you were confused about?"

Jade just stared at the table between the sofa and the TV.

"I…" Tori took a deep breath. "Why me? Why not ask Cat?"

" _Cat_?" Jade repeated incredulously. "Tori, I wouldn't have had time to explain this to _Cat_."

"What do you mean, you wouldn't have had the time?"

"Because, in fifty billion years the sun is going to explode." Jade parried irritably.

Tori was about to get defensive when the voice in the back of her head spoke some pragmatism.

 _Come on. That must have taken a lot. She's a naturally angry person, it's to be expected._

"Fine."

Jade looked up at her hesitantly.

"Fine, if you really think it'll help that much, then I'll do it. But only on one condition."

Jade tucked her hair behind her ear and her hands disappeared into her sleeves. "What?"

"You have to be my partner for Sikowitz's assignment. Other wise, you'll go with Cat, and I'll get stuck with Robbie, and as nice as he is… Well. He makes hard work out of simple tasks, if you know what I mean. I want to get good grades for this, and you always get good grades, so. So there. That's my condition."

Jade thought she'd gotten off pretty lightly- Cat would love to be paired with Robbie anyway.

"Deal." She shrugged.

Jade looked like a ball of nerves and it really was the strangest thing to see.

"So… Am I just… pecking you?"

"Tori…" Jade sighed and turned her head away.

Jade flailed for something to say that could properly convey what she felt.

"I just really need… whatever the hell this is. I hate being this dependent on anyone other than myself and it literally killed me to ask you for this. Please- I don't want you to 'peck' me, I want you to kiss me."

"Okay." Tori said gently, more out of placatory instinct than having processed what Jade was saying. Honestly, she was yet to get past how genuinely the other girl had said 'please'. She scolded herself for thinking like that when Jade was so upset.

"Okay." She repeated. "I get it."

There was an awkward silence.

"It doesn't have to be now. You know- It can be… whenever." Jade was staring at her Chuck Taylors, trying to cover up the blush that had crept up her neck.

"Alright, well. Maybe… Maybe it would be easier if it happened a little more _spontaneously_. Let's just see how it goes this week, and what happens happens?"

Jade nodded, her eyes not really in the room.

"Do you wanna stay? It's getting kinda late."

Jade came back to reality and glanced up at the window. Sheets of rain washed down the glass as the sky continued to empty itself on California, reflecting and distorting her face back at her against the frame of the night.

"I-" Jade thought about it. Staying here would be practical, save her from drowning in the rain, and would probably be a good chance to start making a lot of back-payments of being nice to Tori.

"No." She felt her heart rate settle with the safety of her decline. "Thanks, though. I just gotta… Do some stuff." She lied lamely.

"Are you sure?" Tori gave the window a pointedly concerned look.

"No." Jade admitted. "But I think I'm at my limit today."

Tori smiled brightly. "Well, you know, in half hour it'll be tomorrow and you can wipe your count."

Jade smiled a little. "I don't think it works like that, Vega."

The Latina rolled her eyes. "Fine, fine. Can you- I don't wanna sound like I'm your mom, but, can you maybe text me when you're home? Or something- just so I know you didn't drive your car into a flood or something?"

Jade stood up, her car keys clinking in her hand. "Sure."

Tori smiled and led her back down stairs, where Trina was still lounging watching television with a bag of chips balanced on her chest.

"Isn't it past your bedtime, lil sis?" She called antagonistically, without looking away from the screen.

"Hey, careful with that water, Trina, you're only safe to be around it for another twenty minutes." Jade called back, smirking at the audible choking sound that came in response.

"Did your freaky friend just call me a gremlin?" She raged, her head bobbing up from behind the back of the sofa.

"No!" Jade exclaimed. She looked at her watch. "Not for another… Nineteen minutes."

"Why you-"

"Trina, stop annoying your sister and her friend." Tori's dad was in a navy blue dressing gown and a white shirt. He sounded monotone and tired.

"I- what?! _They're_ annoying _me_! Dad? Dad!" Trina threw herself from the couch and stomped after him as he left the room, raving about her innocence.

Tori laughed with more menace than Jade had ever suspected she had as she heard her mother join in with telling the older Vega sibling off. "She _is_ a gremlin."

Jade couldn't help but smile with her. "And it's her best feature."

Tori laughed again, and unlatched the door for the other girl, pulling it open.

"See you tomorrow?" Tori dared to sound hopeful. She knew that she probably couldn't tell anyone about their agreement, but she at least hoped that it might mean Jade would be nicer to her. Maybe even friendly.

The rain was coming down hard enough for small drops to splash up into the house. "Yeah. Tomorrow."

At 01:12am, Tori's eyes cracked open and she reached for the lit-up screen resting on her bedside table.

 _Made it home._

 _J x_

Was that a kiss? Had Jade West just put a kiss at the end of a text message to her?

 _This is going to be a really weird week._


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N- Hey guys, it's been a while. I have a few chapters of this pre-written, so enjoy my pseudo-speediness whilst it lasts :)**

-X-

Jade wasn't sure why she had put a kiss at the end of her otherwise nondescript message to Tori.

It had taken her an hour to get home after stopping on the way for gas so that she wouldn't have to in the morning, and by the time she had gotten in she felt as though she had run out of gas herself. She had thrown her clothes in a trail across the bedroom floor, dragged herself in and out of the shower as fast as humanly possible, and then collapsed unceremoniously onto the bed with her hair still damp and clinging to her shoulders.

She slid the lock across on her phone, blinking in the sudden light and flicked through the apps until she found messenger. Tori's thread was already open, the ignored string of messages on her side of the screen staring at her accusatorially.

 _I'm fine._

Her thumb hovered over send, unsure. For once, she was overly conscious about sounding shitty.

She deleted it, hitting backspace a few times before resorting to holding it down, watching the two words get swept aside into nothingness.

 _I didn't drown._

 _J_

Jade groaned and let her wrist lax and the glassy back of her phone hit her pillow with a quiet thump. Why was this so hard? She had the impulse to say something nice to the other girl, but at the same time, something inside her reeled at the pseudo-vulnerability.

 _Made it home._

 _J x_

Her eyes burned as she stared at the small x. That made it sound nicer, right? Cat put streams of kisses at the end of her texts, and no one seemed to mind. It was just a simple symbol, after all- it didn't mean anything.

She darted her thumb at send like she was trying to kill a bug that had strayed onto her screen, and then locked the phone in one swift motion, skidding it across her bedside table and turning her back to it lest it light up with a reply that could make her blush harder.

 _It's just Tori, she probably won't even notice._ She thought firmly, scooping her duvet up in front of her and burying her face into it.

 _She probably won't even notice._

-X-

Her alarm went off at 6, then at 6:10, 6:15, 6:20, and was finally silenced permanently and thrown across the bedroom, only to stop mid-air and the charging cable met the end of it's give. It hit the floor somewhere amongst the jeans that Jade had abandoned the night before, and didn't make another sound.

The duvet rustled as Jade pulled it over her head and pretended as though she had no reason to move. As always, Monday had come too quickly, and this Monday in particular was even less welcome than most.

She had only one lesson with Tori today, with Sikowitz, but for some reason she was dreading the entire day. What if Tori had told someone? God, what if she had told Cat? If Cat knew, everyone would know by now, and then- she stopped herself. Tori wouldn't have told anyone, she was too conscientious of other people's feelings.

She sat up and debated between making mediocre coffee at home and being on time for the bell, or getting good coffee on the way to school and being inevitably late. She pulled the covers back and touched her feet to the hardwood floor, weighing the two against each other. On the one side, she thought, as she pulled her phone up by its cable and unplugged it, if she was on time she wouldn't have to listen to Lane drone on at her when Sikowitz inevitably mentioned it to him. Then again, on the other, if she was late, she would minimise the chances of awkward interaction with Tori. And have good coffee.

It should have been a harder choice, as she turned her shower on and wrapped her hair into a vanilla-scented bun under the water, sweet-smelling shampoo suds running down her forearms and dripping onto hr feet. By the time the water ran clear of soap, her mind was already guiltily made up- last night had been shit, and she deserved the good coffee.

 _And you're scared of Tori._ Jade scowled at herself in the mirror as she dried herself off in the steam and then used the towel to wrap her hair.

 _I'm not scared of her._ She corrected herself, leaning up onto her tip-toes to open bathroom window and let the steam out before it started running down the walls. A whoosh of cool morning air settled over her hot skin and the sound of distant traffic, birds and a plane overhead filled the bathroom.

 _I just want my coffee before I have to face her._

Back in her bedroom, she pulled the curtains open, not really caring that half the neighbourhood could probably see her bare breasts, and then rummaged through her wardrobe for something to wear.

She picked ripped black jeans, a white top with no sleeves that had armholes so low she had to wear a tight-fitted strapless, boneless red bra over the black one she had worn originally so that she wouldn't get detention for rocking up to school half naked, and then yanked her leather jacket from where it hung on the bedroom-facing side of the bathroom door. She dried her hair with a dryer in one hand and her phone in the other as she scrolled through the Slap, and then ran her straighteners through it just enough to make it shiny but not enough to make it thin.

Leaving the irons to cool on the stone tiles of the bathroom window ledge, Jade folded her jacket over her arm and took the stairs two at a time.

There was no one else home downstairs. She grabbed her school bag from the floor and her headphones from the fruit bowl where she had flung them yesterday and fished a croissant out of the bag of them that sat by the toaster, pulling her jacket on, her breakfast between her teeth.

Elbowing her way out of the front door into the bright, airy morning, the postman was two doors down, wrestling a wad of envelopes into the mail box. She stood on her doorstep and watched him with a smirk for a moment, reaching up to grab her croissant from her mouth and tearing a bite out of it at the same time. She chewed and found her car keys in her pocket, thumbing at the buttons until the side lights flashed and it unlocked with two small peeps. Her bag was flung onto the passenger seat, keys jammed into the ignition, and with mixed feelings, Jade pulled out of the drive to the realisation that traffic permitting, she would probably be at school on time whether she stopped for coffee or not.

There was no queue in Starbucks, and Jade had never been less grateful.

The man behind the counter looked as though he had been alive for all of a day, gangly and vacant. He knew her though, and waved at her as he noticed her coming in. He started making her coffee without needing to ask what she wanted, and jade pulled her card out of her back pocket, watching him enviously as he plucked her cup from the slightly-leaning mountain of them behind the counter. She wished she could jump right over it, grab and apron and hide here all day, safe amongst the smell of chocolate powder and coffee beans, the murmur of the other customers and the clinking of cups, sources and cutlery. She would even put up with the loud churning of the bean grinder, and the whistling of the steamer if it meant she didn't have to exist as Jade for the day.

"Jade?"

The goth sighed. It was nice whilst it lasted. "Ya." She reached out and took the cup from the counter, pressing her card flat against the reader. It beeped shrilly and the lucky employee slid it back towards him, nodding to her.

"Thank you, see you tomorrow!" He smiled briefly and Jade returned it distractedly.

"Sure thing." She mumbled, shouldering the door open and stepping back into the fresh air. It was starting to warm up outside already, and Jade prayed the Californian sun would go easy on them today- she wasn't sure she could stand the baking heat on top of everything else.

"Hey, Jade!"

Green eyes looked up from the rim of her coffee cup.

"Oh. Hey Bobby."

Bobby was about 10, short, skinny, and as pale as her with vibrant orange curls. His eyes were a pale brown and looked a lot bigger than they really were behind thick glasses. His dad was the manager of the Starbucks, and every weekday morning he would sit for half an hour or so on the white plastic seats outside waiting for his dad to come back out and drive him the rest of the way to school.

"I know it's only been a week, but if I give you twenty dollars-"

"Will I go to the craft store are get you more paint?" Jade unlocked her car again and balanced her drink on the roof.

Bobby looked hopeful, his 20 dollars already in his hand.

Jade sighed. "Sure. What in hell are you painting thats getting through it so fast?"

Bobby grinned. "It's a fully to scale pirate ship, beached on an island. It has pirates ands treasure chests and everything. It's gonna be so cool."

Jade smiled. "Well, can't deny a boy his pirates." She said cooly. "Come on then, pay up." She held her hand out and Bobby pushed the note into it immediately, followed by a small scrap of paper with a list of colours.

"You sure you can't just buy paints that don't have an age restriction on them?" She joked, folding the list and zipping it into her jacket.

"No." Bobby looked agitated. "They don't set as well, and they dry a different colour!"

"Okay, okay. Noted. I'll come by with them after school, alright?"

Bobby smiled with a strange combination of adult and baby teeth. "Thanks Jade!"

"No problem, kiddo. You know I'm not this nice to everyone, right?" She grinned and he laughed.

"Bobby? Come on, school time!"

"That's your dad. See ya later."

Bobby waved as she pulled out of the parking lot, and then turned tail and jogged back to where his dad was waiting for him.

He was a nice kid and talented at building his models but he didn't have that many friends and Jade had never had a little sibling to abet in crime. Besides, what real harm could paint do? He showed her the models afterwards, it wasn't like she didn't check to see where it was going.

-X-

The drive to school was relatively painless and when she killed the engine in the lot, she had eight minutes left until the bell went. She sipped at her coffee and contemplated the idea of waiting in her car until she had only a few seconds to spare.

 _Stop being such a coward._ She scolded herself, opening the door and slinging her bag over her shoulder.

The hall way was buzzing and it took Tori less than a minute to find her. Jade cringed inwardly and pulled her drink up to her face.

"Jade." Tori looked sheepish.

"Tori." The goth retuned, trying not to sound as embarrassed as she hoped she didn't look.

"What's up, guys?" Andre popped up from behind Tori's shoulder. "Ready for the week?"

Both girls immediately looked in opposite directions.

"Sure." They both said, sounding equally awkward.

Andre didn't seem to notice. "Well, I'm going to go get the good seat by the phone charger before Robbie does." He waved, and then jogged over to their classroom, leaving the two girls alone again.

"Jade, I-"

"Hey you guys!"

Cat's voice interrupted them again and possibly for the first time ever, Tori looked like she might hit someone.

"Hey, cat." She sighed. "How are you doing? You hair looks nice."

Cat beamed. She had had much darker strands of red highlighted through her magenta after school on Friday, and Jade had to admit, it did look pretty nice.

"Thanks! Are you guys…?" She trailed off, suddenly realising how unusual it was to see both Tori and Jade standing together without an obvious fight going down.

"Are we what?" Jade snapped, her nerves fraying more by the second.

"Okay?" Cat sounded nervous.

"Oh." Jade coughed a little. "Yeah. Fine. Shouldn't you be getting to class?"

Cat frowned and looked from the classroom door, to Tori, and then back to Jade.

"Aren't we all in the same one?"

"Yes, Cat, but Jade and I-" Tori sighed, defeated. "Never mind, let's get going before someone comes out and looks for us."

Cat seemed to be aware that she had interrupted _something_ , but she didn't give any sign other that a few small glances up at them as they jostled into Sikowitz' room.

"Welcome, learners." He called, opening his arms.

They each found their seats, Jade giving Tori an accidentally obvious stare when she found herself forced into the seat right next to her. Tori smiled at her and then uncharacteristically turned her attention to her phone.

"Now, today we will be focusing on the pros and cons of-"

Jade's phone buzzed against her leg. She slid it out of her pocket and it lit up when it recognised it was being uncovered.

 _I was going to say; are you feeling better?. :)_

 _-read 08:34_

Jade looked up through her hair at Tori, who smiled cautiously. Jade tore her eyes back to her phone and wrote.

 _Jury's still out._

 _-sent 08:35_

"Am I interrupting something, girls?" Sikowitz tented his fingers and waited, looking between them expectantly.

"Yes."

"No!"

Both replies came at the same time. Jade rolled her eyes and Tori blushed.

"Perhaps you'd like to answer the question then, Jade?"

"Which one?"

"Ha!" Sikowitz pointed at her. "So you weren't listening!"

"No, you just asked two questions." Jade smiled sweetly as he scowled.

"Which were?" He raised an eyebrow, figuring he had her now.

Jade let her head fall back and groaned. "'Which year was Arcadia published', and 'where did it debut?'"

Sikowitz looked like he might sulk that Jade had gotten the better of him, and Tori was quietly impressed that Jade had been able to keep track of what he was saying and type at the same time.

"Which would be 1993 and London."

You'll have to get up earlier than that." Rex commented slyly from the sidelines, as Robbie struggled to shut him up.

"Fine. But no more…" He trailed off, wiggling his fingers towards their phones.

Tori replaced hers in her jacket pocket immediately and Jade tucked hers under her leg in plain sight, just to annoy him.

Beck muttered something to Andre and the goth shot them both a dark look, before pretending to resume listening to Sikowitz's rambling about the balance of chaos and order within metaphorical literature.

The rest of the lesson crept by and Jade found it harder than she thought she would not to keep looking at Tori. Every so often, out of the corner of her eye, she would notice the Latina's hair sway, but she could never quite tell if she was looking at her, or if the girls was just looking idly around the room.

By the time the bell rang, and Sikowitz vaulted his desk to leave, Jade was about ready to cry with gratefulness that it was over. If the whole week was going to be as tense as this, she wasn't going to last long at all.

She took a deep breath. She cursed inwardly as she and Tori turned to leave at the same time through a gap between the seats that wasn't big enough for both of them and they got stuck once more, Jade staring like a rabbit in the headlights and Tori with her mouth half open and her eyes trying too hard to seem casual. Tori stepped aside to let her through, and the goth could feel her eyes burning into her back all the way out of the room.

-X-

Jade had escaped her Math class with the excuse of needing the bathroom. The droning voice of her teacher, coupled with the hideously boring subject matter had easily turned into white noise by the uninterested, creative nature of her mind, and it had left her wide open for stewing about her situation with Tori. The not-knowing was killing her, and she was constantly torn between running in the opposite direction, and trying to subtly force interaction.

She pushed the door to the girls bathroom open and thanked god aloud that it was empty. She hopped up to sit by the sinks and leaned back against the wall, enjoying the silence.

Perhaps if she told Tori that she couldn't deal with the waiting, they might be able to get this whole thing out of the way right now? She could text her, tell her where she was, she could be walking right through that door in mere-

The door to the bathroom opened.

-seconds.

"Oh…" Tori hesitated in the doorway, looking as though she might turn and excuse herself, and leave. "Sorry, I… Thought you had math."

"I do." Jade said simply.

"Oh." Tori said again. "So why are you sitting in here?"

"Because I have math." Jade half joked.

Tori let out a small snuff of laughter through her nose. The door closed behind her, and to Jade's surprise, she hopped up to sit a sink away on the same row.

"Are you… Tori, are you skipping History?"

"What? No!" Tori sounded scandalised. "I just, y'know. Needed a break. Got a lot… going on." She finished as though she wished she hadn't mentioned her last addition.

"Oh." It was Jade's turn not to know what to say. "Is it about-"

"No." Tori said quickly. She looked ruefully at the ceiling. "Yes." She confessed.

"You don't have to-"

"I want to. I mean," Tori was blushing furiously. "Help you, I want to help you."

Jade stared at the tiles on the floor. There were some small splashes of water trailing from the sinks to the hand dryers, where hands had been held out.

They were quiet for a while, until Tori sighed, looking at her small silver watch.

"I better get back to the Aztecs, before someone notices I'm still gone." She jumped down from her perch and smiled at Jade.

For some reason, Jade jumped down from where she was sitting too, and came closer than she had intended to Tori. She had chosen fight over flight her whole life, and watching Tori walk away from her again was infuriating her inner fighter.

She didn't realise how close she was to Tori, until she heard the words;

"Jade, we're in a bathroom."

"You're in a bathroom, I'm in hell."

"It's not that bad, they just refurbished it."

"Victoria Vega." Jade narrowed her eyes. "You know exactly what I mean."

Tori looked at her with an annoying amount of sympathy. "I'm sorry, I know. But seriously, we are in a bathroom. You're really not the type."

Jade knew she was right, she wasn't. She spent a whole year using the term bathroom-skank for people who did exactly what she was thinking about doing now, she couldn't become one right after the phrase had started to be heard all through the school.

"I'm sorry." She shouldered past Tori before she could say anything and found her was back to the white noise of maths class, wishing she had hopped that counter in Starbucks.

-X-

By the time the bell rang for the final time that day, Jade was a mess. She had been on edge for hours, between Tori's lingering looks across the table over lunch and their accidental meeting in the bathroom the hour before, the prospect of being able to breathe was driving her out of the school doors like it was caning her shins.

When she saw her car, she stopped abruptly. Tori was leaning against the driver's side door, one arm wrapped around her middle, and the other propped up by the elbow. She was staring listlessly into the middle distance, biting her thumb.

Jade fought the urge to turn around and go back into the building.

"Hey, Jade."

 _Crap._

"Tori." She greeted, measuredly. "Are you… Okay?"

The other girl winced. "Trina ditched me here because of the gremlin thing, and everyone else is staying late to work on set."

There was a hint of pleading in her voice.

"You need a lift?" Jade guessed hesitantly. She supposed little could happen whilst one of them was driving.

"Please?"

Jade just nodded and Tori looked relieved as she gave Jade access to her door. Jade's bag got slung in the back rather than the passenger seat, and Tori climbed in its place, hugging her own bag on her lap.

"Oh, shit." Jade muttered, falling back into her headrest. "We have to stop off somewhere on the way."


	3. Chapter 3

Tori wasn't sure what they were doing at industrial sized craft store, but Jade seemed to know where she was going. She had apologised in the school parking lot, and told Tori that if she wanted a lift home, she would have to join her on an errand first. Tori didn't mind, she rarely got to see any of Jade's personal life, and settled back into her seat without really inquiring any further. They put the radio on, hummed along to songs they knew, traded brief questions and answers about what they needed to do for Sikowitz's as of yet unannounced assignment, and in ten minutes they were pulling up into a parking lot Tori didn't recognise. Now, they were surrounded by coloured card, chalk, charcoal sticks, ink pens, watercolours and paints of all kinds, but Jade seemed to know where she was going. The store was more of a warehouse, and apart from the bored looking man behind the till at the door, the place seemed deserted.

"So, what are we getting?"

Jade handed her a note with a list.

-Gold no.1

-Sienna no.6

-Mahogany no.11

-Cerulean no.4

"Picking up these for a friend."

"Anyone I know?" Tori handed the list back and gazed around at a wall of coloured wool balls. The whole store smelled of fresh lumber and acrylic.

"Probably not. He's just a kid I know, his dad manages the Starbucks near school. He paints models but he's not old enough to buy the paint himself."

They turned a corner and before them stood an impressive rack of tiny coloured paint tins.

"He's not old enough to buy paint?"

"Each tin has a pouch of this mild solvent stuff for stripping it away if you fuck up." Jade explained, scanning the colours for the right ones. "He can't get the paint without the chemicals and so he can't have either."

"Oh, right. Hey, is this the right Cerulean?" Tori grabbed a palm sized tin from the shelf and held it up.

"That's the one." Jade agreed, taking it off her. She then found the Sienna, and the Mahogany not far from each other, and finally the gold, which was hidden away down with the black and the eight shades of white.

At five dollars a tin, Jade felt some small satisfaction that she wouldn't have to wait about for change to be counted up, and holding the tins between them, they started back towards the front of the shop.

Jade, suddenly hit by the feeling Tori was no longer behind her, turned after just a few steps, and found Tori was gone.

"Tori?" She said, peering back around the corner. Her eyes widened and a huge smile spread across her face. Jade burst out laughing.

"Oh my god, Vega!" She put her hand over her mouth lest they draw the attention of an assistant.

Tori looked horrified.

"Shit!" She swore, only making Jade laugh harder.

In an attempt to get a better hold of the gold no.1, the Latina had accidentally put her thumb through the lid, popping it inwards, and the contents had exploded over her top.

"Jade! Hell, Jade, help me get it off!"

Jade was struggling to breathe laughing. "How?! You want me to _craft_ you a new top?"

Tori glared daggers at her. "Jade West, stop laughing at me! What do I do?!"

"Take it off." Jade motioned to her hastily.

"What?! That's your advice?!"

"Yes! Trust me, just take it off, roll it up first so you don't drag it through your hair." The goth had tears in her eyes as she tried to stay serious.

"Jade, I'm not wearing a bra! I didn't bother putting it back on after gym!"

The goth opened her mouth to reply but dissolved into hysterics again.

"Take it off and I'll give you my jacket." She offered, shouldering off her leather jacket as she said it.

"I-" Tori considered, looking from the jacket, and back to the paint covered top she was wearing.

"Oh christ, fine- give me a second. And make sure no one creeps up on us!" Jade held her jacket up to give Tori some privacy, and looked around would-be causally to keep an eye out for other people. She felt her jacket wrenched from her grip, and then heard Tori mutter.

"Okay, I'm good."

The goth risked a glance at her and sobered up a little at the sight of so much cleavage being on show between the V of the jacket.

"Is it obvious?" Tori snapped her fingers. "Hey! I said is it obvious?"

Jade blinked. "Hm? No. Wait, is what obvious?"

Tori looked at her like she was mad. "That I'm not wearing anything under your jacket, Jade!"

"Oh. Yeah, it's pretty obvious." She said truthfully.

Tori was scarlet. "Oh my god. Can we leave, please? Now?"

Jade tittered again and the Latina threatened to slap her with her paint-covered shirt.

"We need to get more paint, first." She reminded her. "Since you decided to wear 25% of it."

Tori groaned. "Okay, just… _quickly_."

They hurried back to the wall of paints, and Jade grabbed a new tin of gold.

"Oh, hey…" Jade leaned forwards and Tori looked to one side uncertainly. "What?"

"You have some one your face. Stay still!"

Tori frowned and tried not to move as Jade used one sharp nail to quickly swipe away the paint from under her cheek bone. Once it was gone, Jade hesitated. They were closer now than they had been earlier, and this time, Tori didn't seem to be in much of a rush to change it.

Her eyes dipped down to Jade's lips and back up again, a new blush creeping up her neck.

She looked like she might be considering saying something to diffuse the tension, and Jade couldn't take it anymore.

"Fuck it." She murmured, leaning in and pressing her lips lightly against Tori's. Anxiety dropped through her stomach like a stone but she ignored it, leaning in a little further.

Tori was mildly stunned. She hadn't expected Jade to get the courage together so quickly after the days events.

Jade felt soft against her, slow and warm and Tori could swear she could feel her shaking a little.

She suddenly remembered that she had made this girl a promise.

Shaking herself mentally and trying to ignore how odd it felt to have Jade like this, she reached up and caught the goth's jaw, for the first time kissing her like she knew she was even in the room.

They stayed there for a few long moments, until Jade pulled away quietly, searching Tori's eyes before they'd even re-opened.

"Enlightening?" Tori asked sheepishly after a moment, still unconsciously holding the other girl's face.

"I- Yeah. Thanks…" Jade's eyes were focused on something a long way away.

When she properly looked back up at Tori, her dark eyes stood out against the technicolour backdrop of art supplies. This time, it wasn't Jade that started it.

Tori almost unbalanced them lunging at her so suddenly, and Jade grabbed her through the soft leather of her own jacket to stop them getting covered in even more paint as the tins clattered quietly against themselves behind them.

Jade hadn't kissed anyone so fervently in a very long time. In fact, she couldn't accurately remember the last time she had, and could only hazard a guess that it would have been when her and Beck were still new in their relationship. But even though she couldn't remember it, she knew it had never felt anything like this.

It felt so foreign but she pulled Tori against her and tilted her head to one side, noticing every slight difference to what she was used to; the feel of Tori's hair tickling her cheek, how slight she was in her arms compared to Beck, the way Tori held onto her.

When they pulled away the second time, Jade couldn't help but raise an eyebrow.

Tori's cheeks were still flushed and she was breathing noticeably more heavily than before.

Neither of them knew what to say.

"Car?"

Tori nodded and followed her to the checkout. They paid for the paint with Bobby's cash, Jade scaring the cashier into foot-staring with just a look after she caught him peeking at Tori's shirt situation.

The safety of Jade's car couldn't have come fast enough.

Tori settled into the passenger seat still holding her bundle of t-shirt and watched Jade walk around the front of the car to the driver's side with some anxiety. She didn't know what had come over her. She had kissed her just as she was supposed to, as she'd said she would, and then suddenly she couldn't let go. Jade had been so gentle in that moment and Tori couldn't bare to let it escape so quickly. At least, that's what it had started as; but the feelings running through her now were a long way from that kind of innocence.

The drivers side door opened and Jade was next to her again. She didn't immediately start the engine, and Tori risked a look at her. She blushed when she found Jade was already looking at her.

"Can I ask you something?" Jade said suddenly.

Tori shifted at the unexpected question. "Sure?"

"On Friday, at rehearsals, you kept looking at me. And I know I can't exactly talk, but I was just interested, why?"

Tori laughed. "I was looking at you because I was convinced you were there to oversee some sabotage plot or something. Because, you know, you hadn't really been…"

"Nice to you for over a month?"

Tori looked at her apologetically.

"Don't look at me like that, it's true. I'm a bitch to you too much. I'm sorry." Jade traced the lines in the leather of her steering wheel with the side of her thumb nail.

"Jade, I-" Tori was lost for words again. "I never held it against you. If I did, I would have stopped trying to be your friend a long time ago. But… does this mean that we can stay friends? After I'm not, y'know… 'useful' anymore?"

Jade looked somewhat horrified. "I'm not using you, Tori. I mean, I suppose technically I am but not in that sense."

"No, no, I know, I didn't mean it like that. I just mean that usually we're okay when-"

"When I need something from you. And then I go back to being a bitch."

"Jade, no-"

"Jade, yes!"

Tori was taken aback to see the other girl's eyes were glassy. "It's fine, you don't have to lie to make it look better."

"But I don't mind helping you when you need it." Tori sounded almost hurt.

"I know you don't." Jade assured quietly. "But that doesn't mean I should be such an ass about it. I mean it, I'm sorry. I can't change overnight or anything, but just- if I'm a bitch, it's not your fault."

Jade had not intended to have this conversation with Tori, but something angry inside her wouldn't let her back out.

"Well. Thanks. I'm sorry for nearly pushing us both into a paint display."

There was a pause before both girls started laughing at the absurdity of it all.

"Why did you?" Jade asked as she started her car, pulling her belt on.

"Why did I what?"

"Kiss me like that, the second time around. You already upheld your end of the deal, you didn't have to."

They waited for a break in the traffic to pull out from the car park and Tori didn't answer straight away.

"I don't know. I just wanted to." She tried to say it as though it wasn't a big deal, and failed miserably.

"I thought it was me that was supposed to be confused." Jade said light-heartedly.

Tori stayed silent.

They travelled maybe half a mile before Jade spoke up again.

"Are you?"

Tori came out of a trace. "Am I what?"

"Confused." Jade wasn't sure if it was really a question which could be considered her business.

"Maybe. I don't know. Yes." She was staring into the wing mirror at the road behind them.

"Could you be more specific?" The goth asked, signalling and turning them down into a residential area the Tori also wasn't familiar with.

The Latina stayed silent again and Jade stopped at the side of the road.

She turned in her seat towards the other girl. "Are you okay?" She asked, looking genuinely concerned.

Tori just stared at her, trying to work out what the hell that kiss had started in her mind. Her traitor eyes dropped again to Jade's lips and she struggled with herself.

What the hell was wrong with her? She kissed people on stage all the time and this had never happened with any of them.

 _Guys._ She thought.

She had always appreciated women just like men, she appreciated Jade, and Cat, and a whole slew of actresses, but she had never really gone any further than the fleeting thought that they looked nice that day. She had never felt so much kissing _anyone_ and it was confusing as hell.

Then again, she'd only ever had boyfriends before- if she'd never even been in this position with another girl, what was there to be so conflicted over? She didn't get so conflicted when she found a new perfume that she liked more than the last.

She rolled her eyes at herself inwardly.

Jade was a little more complex that a perfume choice.

She looked back up to Jade's eyes cautiously and butterflies stirred up when Tori saw green eyes had fallen to stare back at her own lips. Jade looked at her like she was something she really wanted, and it scared Tori that she might only be reacting like this to her because she wanted Jade to want her regardless of how, and not because it was genuine.

It didn't scare her enough, apparently, and moments later she melted against Jade's lips again, closing her eyes and taking in the vanilla scent that clung to her.

"Fuck!" Jade shot backwards and Tori nearly had a heart attack as a small knock came from the driver's window.

A scrawny boy with bottle end glasses and a mop of red hair was standing very awkwardly on the pavement, looking at Jade and waving.

"Jesus Christ, Bobby." Jade muttered, letting out a long breath and letting her window down.

"Um. Hi Jade. I saw your car from my window." He sounded like he was expecting to be in trouble.

"Hey kid. You scared the… hell outta me." She negated her curse at the last minute.

Bobby's freckles were popping and his ears were dark red.

"Sorry." He squeaked. "I have to go to my swimming class any minute and dad's waiting for me."

Jade took another steadying breath, and spared a look at Tori, who was still recovering.

"Here." The goth reached behind her into the footwell of the back seat and pulled out the bag of paints.

Bobby's face lit up as he took them from her through the window, his embarrassment forgotten.

"Thanks Jade!" He almost put his whole face into the bag to look at them. "They're perfect!"

"Any time."

"Is that Jade?" A man's voice called from the direction of the house.

"Yeah!" Bobby yelled. "She got my paint!"

"Well you say thank you to her. And tell her hello from me."

"My dad says hello." The kid said, as though Jade might not have heard him say it from the extra three inches away.

"You tell him hey back, okay? Try to stay afloat at your class." The goth joked.

Bobby gave another toothy grin. "I'm the best in my grade, I have a medal."

"I'm sure you are." Jade smiled. "See you tomorrow."

Bobby waved again, clutching his bag of paints and Jade pulled away from the sidewalk she'd pulled up on.

"So, uhm. That what your friend, huh?" Tori said conversationally. She was spinning the ring on her middle finger around almost manically.

"Yeah, ah. That was my friend."

"He was sweet. I think I even recognise him from the coffee shop."

"Yeah, he's there a lot." Jade agreed lamely.

They lapsed into a painful silence which lasted all the way to Tori's front door.

"Well. Here we are." Jade said, trying to sound cheerful that Tori was going.

"Here we are." Tori echoed, not budging.

Jade could see Trina at the window angrily making rude hand gestures at them. They watched her impressive line up of silent insults for about a minute before Jade said abruptly,

"Do you wanna just come back to mine?"

"God yes." Tori said quickly before Jade had even gotten the last work out, looking at Trina with a mix of dread and exhaustion.

Jade hid her smile as they reversed back out of Tori's drive.

"Mine it is, then."


	4. Chapter 4

Jade's room was surprisingly light coloured for her personality, and Tori was more than happy to settle down by her on her sofa and flick through all the old movies Jade had stored to watch.

The drive back hadn't been as awkward as the drive before it, mostly owning to Jade asking what had Trina in such a mood lately. Tori had launched into such a rant, she had immediately forgotten everything else, explaining how Trina had gone through three bottles of her conditioner in less than a week and was now taking it out on her that she had been made to buy her replacements instead of shoes.

Much to her amusement, Jade had suggested moving out.

"Move where? The sidewalk just outside?"

Jade had opened her mouth to say something, but whatever she had been thinking had been cast aside quickly, and the rest of the journey was spent flicking through the radio to find songs they knew.

Her mom wasn't home, her dad didn't even live with them anymore, and Tori was slightly staggered by how quiet a house could be without, well… Trina.

She shifted her attention to the tv screen. She wasn't sure what they were watching right now- some 50's western- but it was good and Jade was noticeably happy watching it.

"If you want, we can order pizza. My mom's away so she left cash for when I inevitably couldn't be bothered to cook." The goth said casually, turning her head towards Tori but not looking away from the main character.

Tori smiled. "You cook?"

Jade shrugged. "Sure. I like cooking."

"I'm a liability in the kitchen." Tori confessed. "Sandwiches are my limit."

Jade laughed, sitting up and grabbing her phone. "That settles that, then. Olives?"

Tori nodded and Jade focused on ordering, choosing the website over a phone call. She threw her cell down onto the empty seat beside her when she was done, and pulled her feet up under her as she leaned back into the sofa.

The Latina couldn't help but notice how the other girl had chosen to sit in the middle rather than by the other arm.

At the same time, a strange quiet came over both of them as they caught each other's eyes.

"So." Tori said, looking at her nails. "Is anything any… _clearer_ now?"

Jade thought about it, trying to work out what _was_ going on in her mind.

"It's been a hell of a day. I don't think much has processed yet. But… I don't feel all that confused any more. You felt… right. And that has to count for something."

Tori's heart fluttered. She knew logically that Jade just meant her as a female, but she wanted to believe it was personal. Some part of her was strangely hopeful that Jade would need her again, just to be sure. She still didn't know why they had kissed outside of Bobby's house- sure, she had been staring, but Jade hadn't been and she could have easily ignore it if she'd wanted to.

"I'm glad." Was all she could say.

Jade gave her a sideways look, but didn't say anything. Her eyes went back to the TV, and stayed like that until the doorbell rang and the goth disappeared downstairs to get their food.

Tori took the opportunity to look around. Jade's bed was a size bigger than her own, hastily made with a white duvet and white sheets. There was a large canvas picture of what looked like New Orleans over the head of the bed, and across from it was a desk with Jade's MacBook and a glass jar of pens on a small stack of papers. There was a sofa lining the same wall as the canvas was hung on, with a big fluffy red faux-fur rug on the floor between it and her TV, which was stood on a low, long, pale wood unit. By on the last of the room to where Tori was sitting there was another door, which she assumed was to an en suite. There was one window with floor length dark red curtains on the wall opposite her. The room felt large and airy, and there were exposed pale wooden beams running across where the ceiling would have levelled if the room hadn't of had a sharply sloping roof.

Her attention turned back to the door as Jade re-appeared. She walked around the end of her bed and sat back down by Tori, balancing the blue pizza box between them.

"You have a really nice room." Tori complimented as she tried to wrestle a slice of pizza away from the rest of it.

"Thanks." Jade smiled, tearing her own triangle of pizza away. "Everyone always assumes it's gonna be dark in here and full of skeletons or something."

"I did think it would be darker, but not _that_ dark." She replied, frowning and smiling at the same time.

They ate their pizza as the western finished and another one rose to take its place.

An hour later, Tori was having a hard time keeping her thoughts away from Jade's mouth. She could still feel the ghost of her when she thought about it hard enough and it was gnawing at her something awful.

When she had agreed to kiss Jade, she hadn't ever taken into account that it might have repercussions for her, too.

She watched the side of Jade's face absentmindedly, the sharp cheekbones and the porcelain skin, the pale green eyes, contrasting against the dark strands of hair which had escaped the messy bun that she had piled it into. She looked nice with her hair up. More than nice.

Tori wanted to slap herself. What the hell was wrong with her? How could someone she had seen nearly every day for years suddenly be having such an effect on her? She snapped her eyes away as Jade turned to look at her, and winced as she heard a quiet sigh.

"Do you want to talk?" Jade didn't seem put out by Tori's strange turn in behaviour.

She swallowed. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

Jade regarded her for a split second before saying gingerly, "Do you need me to return the favour?"

"You already did. More than once."

"Technically. But it's not like we're kids, if you gotta figure it out, you gotta figure it out. It's not exactly like it's a chore for me."

At that, Tori looked at Jade, the mention of herself being something other than a chore to the other girl instantly making her feel better.

"What if I can't ever figure it out?"

Jade smirked. "What a shame." She said sarcastically, sliding closer to her and putting two finger tips under her chin. "Come on," She goaded, playfully, "Figure me out."

Butterflies attacked Tori in force as she leaned in yet again, caving to this new temptation.

Jade was just as soft as last time, and it was addictive, the way they moved together and the sound it made. Both of them had all but forgotten that Tori was still lacking a shirt under Jade's jacket when the goth's thumb accidentally brushed exposed skin where the leather had been pushed up as Tori had lain back. They pulled away and stared at each other.

"Do you want to change into one of my tops?" Jade asked, still staring at Tori's wetted lips.

Tori just shook her head and pulled her back in.

They stayed locked together for a few minutes, Jade feeling a kind of contentedness that she hand't felt in so long she had forgotten all about it, and Tori still lost in the feeling of them.

The Latina was leaned back against the arm of the sofa, with Jade's hand next to Tori's right shoulder supporting her weight, and the other was comfortably on Tori's waist. Tori had one hand loosely tugging at the ends of Jade's hair. It felt nice, and Jade hummed quietly against her lips.

Tori had ceased all forms of thought, conceding instead to just feel for once and then think about the rest later. Jade had her in a very compromising position, and other than throw her off, all she could really do was stay as she was and let Jade keep the control, which she discovered pretty quickly she didn't mind one bit.

Without any warning, Jade sat up, pulling Tori with her and not leaving her lips for a second. Jade was now almost straddling her lap, and had a height advantage for it. The goth's free hand came almost to join the other on Tori's cheek and settled on the Latina's neck holding on to her lightly but still very obviously.

Tori couldn't help but let a small, muffled moan escape her when she felt Jade's tongue. She parted her lips, almost unsure, and a moment later their tongues slid across one another's, wet and soft.

Tori was becoming very quickly aware of the way the rest of her body was reacting, and prayed it didn't become obvious to the other girl.

A minute later, and Jade pulled away. Her throat was flushed and she smirked at how dishevelled Tori looked.

"Figured it out yet?"

-X-

By midnight, Tori was curled up asleep in Jade's bed, in a soft white jumper she had borrowed, and little else. Jade had come out of the shower to find the other girl had already given out, and was lying on the sofa whilst her hair slowly drip-dried onto the wooden floor. They had stayed close all evening, eventually showing some self control and watching a few more movies, but occasionally lapsing back into the never ending curiosity that had spread from Jade to Tori in a matter of hours. At around 11pm, Tori had started to let her eyes close with her temple against Jade's shoulder but the goth was still agonisingly awake. She had found Tori a jumper to sleep in, and let her get changed whilst she excused herself to shower again. She didn't really need to when she knew she would again in the morning anyway, but in her restlessness she decided it might help put her at ease. It didn't. When she came back into her room Tori had already passed out, and Jade was torn between joining her, and not wanting to wake her if she couldn't settle.

She had gone for the couch, absentmindedly scrolling through the Slap as she tried not to think about what was going on in her heart.

She had wanted Tori's help on this, had asked her specifically. And yes, it was mostly because she had no one else, but she couldn't deny that Tori would have been an attractive option regardless of who else could have been a possibility. Now, though, she felt like something had changed. She had been more relaxed around Tori since she had showed up at her house that night than she had ever been around Beck, and it hadn't even been all that painful a transition. Tori was surprisingly easy to be around, she held intelligent conversation, hell, she was good to sing with in traffic. Not to mention the way it felt when Jade noticed her starting at her in this new way, meeting her gaze when much was going on behind her dark eyes when Jade pulled back.

She couldn't hide from the fact now that she could kiss Tori for hours.

The mere idea that she had been confused about the subject just a few days ago seemed absurd.

But if all this was was finding an answer for that question, why was she still here when she had so obviously gotten it? She didn't have any doubt anymore- Tori had done everything Jade was afraid to even have hoped for, and yet, she didn't want her to go.

Part of her actually wanted to thank Trina profusely for being such a terror to live with, so that Tori had chosen to take refuge with her for the night. Did she feelings for Tori? Was that even possible so quickly? Or was she just emotional, and Tori the embodiment of a subject very close to home? She wasn't sure why the Latina still here, either- Tori had fulfilled her end of the bargain, she should by all accounts be home right now waiting for Sikowitz to spill the beans on what their next assignment was so that the two of them could begin working for their grade. But now Tori seemed to be even more confused than she had been, and Jade was damned if she could tell if it was over her personally, or if it was just a more general thing, as hers had originally been.

She sighed as she realised she had been scrolling without really reading through the Slap, and had gotten all the way to last Wednesday's posts. She locked her phone with a click, and sat up, pulling her jeans back on and quietly taking a shirt from the pile of fresh laundry on her desk chair.

She left Tori a note letting her know not to worry about her, and closed her bedroom door behind her as quietly as she could.

-X-

Jade pulled her grey hood up as she saw the first signs of graffiti trailing along the city walls. She had thrown her soft leather jacket on over the top of her hoodie, leaving it unzipped and pushing her hands deep into her pockets.

As graffiti began to mingle with layer upon layer of missing posters, club flyers and DJ advertisements, and the streetlights faded into the sticker-scarred rectangular subway lights, the familiar sound of wheels began to rumble along the tunnel of concrete, amplified by the acoustics and accentuated by the direction of the breeze.

The area which now by night had become a haven for skaters, outcasts and dealers was originally a sheltered skate park for a local sports centre, full of slopes and ledges and pillars, which had been quickly broken into and turned into a refuge when the centre had closed down a few years before. There was one entrance through a widely-avoided subway to the back, which opened into the cave-like main area, which in turn was open to the elements with a curving set of stone steps gilded by steel railings.

Some of the older college students would eat their lunch on the steps in the day time, overlooking the beach and the crowds around the food stands, but few others strayed near as the sun began to set and the populace become slowly more choice.

Jade came around regularly enough to know names. In fact, most people knew _her_ name, something which had become problematic when every homeless person in the street nodded to her in a Mexican wave when she was out with her friends from school. She had had to tell her mother that she'd given them coats from Sikowitz's costumes room when two had come across them looking for family gifts and casually asked her what was up last Christmas.

"Ay."

Jade looked up, knowing who to expect.

"Hey, Peanut."

"What's crackin'?" He was short for 19, with skin so dark you could barely see how littered it was with tattoos. He was always fidgeting and smiling and every so often he would slap himself around the face, only to keep grinning, eyes squinted almost closed, still shuffling on the spot. He claimed it was Tourettes, but most just called him crazy. He had the physique of someone who did a lot of fighting, which, with his tendency to stare intensely at the wrong people, he did.

Jade snorted. "Mental state, will to live, you name it."

He slapped himself. "You know what you need?"

"Weed?"

Peanut laughed. "S'like you know me."

Jade rolled her eyes. "You don't smoke, P."

"Yeah, I know! Fucks with me, all paranoid and shit- but I ain't here to rain on anyone's good time."

"Is that what you told Jackson?" The goth watched two skinny boys she recognised from somewhere else as they passed each other back and forth on their skateboards, up and down the same opposite ramps like pendulums.

Peanut scowled over his shoulder to where Jackson was leaning against the wall with an empty bottle and a crowd of younger teens, who all had their bottles in bags.

"Ah, Jackson ain't know shit." He muttered.

A week ago, Peanut had fixed Jackson with one of his stares whilst he was tucking his laces, and the other boy had taken it personally. Peanut's eye socket was still a little swollen, a pale beige band-aid slapped over the split at the end of his eyebrow. Jackson was worse-off and brooding for it.

"So, you here for the botany?"

Jade shook her head. "No. Looking for Clara. She here?"

"She here?" Peanut wrung his hands, grinning. "She here, she ain't ever not here. She over at the pyres."

The pyres were three metal bins filled with junk and drift wood which was set on fire every night by whichever usual suspect showed up first.

"Alright, stay classy."

"Girl, I was born classy."

She waved a hand at him and started scanning for the person she was looking for. She found her, as Peanut had predicted, sitting on a concrete block by one burning bin, her hoodie fallen down from both of her shoulders and acting more like a shawl scarf that a jacket.

"Jade. Haven't seen you around in a while." She was rolling a suspicious looking 'cigarette' without really looking at it. The small crowd of others around her didn't look Jade's way as she approached.

"It's been a week."

"That's a while for you." Clara's pale blonde hair was clipped close to her scalp on one side, and went from short to relatively long at the front on the other. The ends were a pugnacious violet to match her jacket. She had eyes like a husky with thick, long lashes and a small silver stud in her eyebrow glinted in the fire light.

Jade shrugged. "I'll try'n remember to write next time. Came for your counsel, if you're no too comfy here?" She raised a brow at the cinderblock seat.

Clara leaned in towards the barrel in front of her and held the roll-up to the open flame. "You can't speak here?"

"Well, I could give two shits who's around, but you might." Jade knew Clara wasn't really one for personal discussions when she was out.

Clara studied her, interested, and blew out the small flame that had caught onto what was clearly by the smell, a joint.

"Alright." She said simply. She shrugged her hoodie back onto her otherwise bare shoulders and stood. A few tired eyes followed her movements from around the fire, and she kicked a backpack full of god-knows what over to the nearest pair- an older man who looked like one of the homeless, with long grey hair poking out from under a dark green beanie and his body swamped under a large coat of a similar colour. He grunted and used his foot to pull the bag the rest of the way over to him before returning his tired gaze back to the fire.

Clara pushed one hand into her hoodie and let the other hang by her side as the smoke swirled up from between her fingers. Jade followed her down the stone steps, away from the smell of aerosol paint and beer and towards the quietly rushing sound of the sea.

The waves were black and hard to separate from the sky as Clara leaned over the beach railings, silhouetted against the glow of the skate-cave.

"So, what's going on?" She asked, with the joint between her teeth. She took a drag and then proffered it to Jade before she exhaled.

Jade considered for a moment, and then took it.

"How did you know when you met Dee that she was… y'know." The goth coughed a little as her lungs struggled with the smoke they weren't so used to.

"'Right.'"

Clara gave her a look and took her joint back. "Fuck, West, got any bigger questions?"

The student laughed joylessly, watching the horizon as the moon clawed its way past some errant cloud cover.

"Only a couple."

There were a few moments of silence as Clara thought about her answer.

"After my mom and dad died, I went into foster care for two years until I was old enough to use the money they left behind and move out on my own. In the mean time, I used to ditch school and use that beat-up old bicycle that Jackson's always sitting on to deliver the good stuff around to people who didn't wanna come out and get it for a few bucks on the side. One day, I deliver to some guy and he decides to take the whole backpack and everything in it and set his dog on me. I jumped every fence on the block until I couldn't hear it barking anymore."

Against her better judgement, Jade took the joint again. "Alright."

Clara started to scratch at the metal railings with a pocket knife that Jade hadn't even noticed her produce.

"I was in deep shit for losing all the weed. When I came back to face the music, my bike was here, my backpack was here- empty. Turned out the guy was this chick I'd never seen around before's big brother. She stole it all back from him when he passed out, came looking for me. When she didn't find me she used the crappy cell in the bag to get at all the addresses and took it around herself. Saved my ass."

There was a yell from somewhere behind them, and Jade turned around to see Peanut in a rugby scrum with a thin, scrawny kid who looked like what Jade imagined Eminem would look like now if he'd never made it. There was more yelling and a small crowd began to gather around them. Jade shook her head as both boys went down like cartoon characters, fists and limbs flying from all angles.

She turned back to Clara, who hadn't even bothered to look having witnessed so many similar scraps.

"And then?"

"And then," Clara said, still sawing at the railings. "Then, her dick brother found her out what she did and she had nowhere to go. So she crashed at mine, a 'thank-you' of sorts. And that was that."

Jade turned to lean her back against the railings instead, both elbows rested on them behind her. She watched as two more kids got drawn into the on-going fight.

"That doesn't explain how you knew she was right."

"Fuck someone enough and you'll know eventually." Clara joked, tossing the finished end of her joint into the sand.

" _That's_ your advice?" Jade couldn't help but smile a little bit as Clara laughed.

"Jade." She said after a minute, looking more serious. "You wanna know how I knew that I loved her? Because about a year after she moved in with me, I came down here like I always do, sat down over there, like I always do, lit a joint, _like I always do_ , and suddenly, everyone was running. It was like black Friday, if black Friday was aimed at brawlers, ballers and bastards." She laughed, staring up at the sky.

"Cops had showed. Everyone scattered in every direction, some idiots even dived into the sea to try and disappear. I didn't know where Dee was, but I was balls-deep in Class B, so I ran, too, all the way to the apartment. When I got there, she wasn't there. I rang her, and rang her, and rang her, no answer, I rang your knight in shining armour over there-" She gestured at Peanut, who was now piggy-backing on his opponent.

Jade rolled her eyes.

"-To see who got arrested. When he picked up, he was just over there on the sand, crouching under the sea wall. He named a few nobodies and said Dee was still nearby. Then in the background a gunshot goes off and people start shouting, and he just hangs up. And I don't know why, but I panicked like hell, I ran all the way back here, didn't give a shit how many police were around. I was terrified."

She looked back at Jade.

"I was terrified that it was her that had been shot. It's not uncommon for her to carry a gun, and I wouldn't have dismissed the person to tell me she'd pointed it at a cop in anger. So that's how I knew. When I ran as fast as I possibly could into a repeat-offender's jail sentence to make sure she was safe."

Jade processed what she had said slowly.

"So all I've gotta do to work this shit out is…" She frowned. "How the hell am I supposed to replicate that?"

"Maybe just try and imagine her with someone else, like a normal kid. Who is this 'her', anyway?"

Jade studied her nails. "You remember that girl I poured a coffee over that time?"

Clara snorted with laughter. "Jesus, Jade, if that's how you've been showing your interest you might have your work cut out for you, doll."

"Very funny. But probably not untrue. I don't know." She checked her phone idly. It was nearing 2am. "I should probably get going."

Clara slapped her shoulder. "Look at you, all love-sick."

"Shut up." The goth grumbled, pulling away from the railings. Her shoulders were stiff.

"Whatever." Clara smirked. "See you around." She called, and Jade disappeared into the crowd.


	5. Chapter 5

The asphalt cafe felt like the loudest place on earth.

Jade had gotten home at three, to Tori's worried eyes. By the time she had re-assured her that she was fine, and that she had just gone out for some air, it was half past, and by the time she had really fallen asleep, it near nearing five. Her alarm went dutifully off at six, slapping her painfully awake, and not wanting to irritate Tori she had been forced to switch it off properly and get up for school straight away lest she close her eyes again and fall asleep with no safety net.

Tori had borrowed one of her shirts and retrieved her bra from the bottom of her school bag, rolling her eyes as Jade had started laughing in the background at the memory of the paint incident.

She had been so tired, she had given her car keys to Tori without hesitation when the brunette, perceptive as ever, had offered to drive them to save her the hassle. She really _could_ have kissed her when she looked up from her half-asleep position to see the Starbucks sign looming down on them.

"Don't worry about it," She said, when Jade had reached to release her belt. "I'll go."

Jade had stayed in the car wondering what she had ever done to deserve Tori's rescue. When Tori had come back, coffees in hand, she had seemed… different.

She had taken her coffee gratefully, and Tori had driven them the rest of the way to school to the sound of the morning traffic updates but even though she usually was when she was driving, Tori seemed… quiet.

The goth passed it off for tiredness, remembering that Tori hadn't exactly had a perfect nights sleep herself, but now as they all gathered around their usual spot for lunch, Tori was still acting strangely.

She had avoided looking Jade in the eye and when she wasn't talking to anyone else, she seemed far off, stuck somewhere bleak within her thoughts.

Jade was beginning to find the whole day a bit much. She didn't even look twice when Emily had come skipping over to kiss Beck in plain view, despite Andre, Cat and Robbie all looking like they feared for the girl's life.

Tori was staring at her phone when Andre started a casual poll as to what Sikowitz was going to have set for them when he finally revealed their assignments after lunch. No one really looked to Jade after she had spent most of the day communicating strictly non-verbally, and she took her opportunity.

 _Look at me_

 _-read 1:46pm_

Tori stiffened a little when she read the message, but then slowly looked up from her phone and met Jade's eyes for the first time since they'd gotten into the car that morning. Now faced with her, Jade didn't know what to say. Instead she just winced at her questioningly, not bothering to hide her anxiety.

Tori stared at her with an unreadable expression for a few seconds, and then dropped her eyes back to her phone. She seemed to start typing something, then quickly deleted it. The next thing Jade knew, Tori stood up, gave some excuse to the others, and left without another glance.

-X-

Sikowitz had announced that their assignment would be to write, with a partner, one act for a play, which would then be put with all the other pair's acts to make a complete play. They had to use the same characters, locations, and all got given a rough timeline of events, with their act highlighted. They also had a list of the character's traits, likes and dislikes, history and aspirations to keep them relatively in character across all interpretations. They were expressly forbidden from communicating with anyone except their partner about what and how they had chosen to write their parts.

Jade was relieved it was something that played to her strengths- play writing was her passion, and she was sure this wouldn't be too taxing to complete. She had paired with Tori, as promised, and they had been given the final act to write.

Tori was still not looking at her, and didn't say anything much more than she was required to.

Once Sikowitz had finished his explaining, he let them retreat with their partners to go over the content he had given them for the last fifteen minutes of the day, and the moment his back was turned, Tori quietly excused herself again and left.

Jade nearly screamed. She just couldn't understand what was wrong, and Tori just wouldn't talk to her about it, even over text.

Instead, she grabbed her bag, waited to make sure her teacher was busy explaining something to Robbie, and crept out after Tori.

Tori wasn't in the janitor's closet, as Jade had first thought, which meant her next port of call was the same bathroom they'd met in last time.

She pushed the door open and got mixed reviews from her brain as her eyes settled on the girl she was looking for. Tori had her back to her, but her body language suggested she knew Jade was there. She stayed stock still, her state of mind given away by the slight shake of her shoulders.

Jade crossed the roman stopped short a foot or so behind her, suddenly unsure of herself.

"Tori? Tori-" She reached out and touched her shoulder, but the brunette immediately shrugged it away.

Jade stood, defeated. She wasn't sure she'd ever felt so tired, after a month of restless sleep, the rollercoaster of the last few days, and now this, she was quickly feeling herself crumbling under the stress.

"I don't understand." She said, her voice cracking a little.

"Why don't you ask Bobby?" Tori turned, her eyes red but more than that, lined with hurt.

Jade's face crumpled in confusion. " _Bobby_? … _Paint_ Bobby? How the hell-"

Tori composed herself quickly as someone else came into the bathroom. They got an odd look, and Tori took Jade's distraction at glaring at them to push past her and make her exit.

Jade swore profusely as the door swung shut.

-X-

Jade could hear the doorbell ring within the house as she stood on the doorstep. She heard a woman shout, a man answer, and then braced herself as she saw a large silhouette getting closer and closer to the the glass of the door.

"Jade!" Ted was a large man in stature but average in weight, with a very square face and large, equally square glasses just like his sons. He was very mild-mannered from what Jade knew of him, last to start an argument and first to smooth one over.

"Hi, Ted. Sorry to just show up- is Bobby home yet?"

"Oh, sure." Ted nodded. "Is everything okay? He usually knows when you're coming."

"Oh." Jade short-circuited, trying to think of an excuse. "Yeah, no, I was just going to the craft place and I wanted to check that he didn't need anything. I know how fast he goes through that paint." She added, remembering she had only been yesterday. She smiled convincingly.

"Ha! You can say that again- Bobby! Jade's here!- You know, he mows and waters that lawn like a champ every week to earn the money for it all, Saturday he even mowed Mrs Chalker's lawn next door. Bobby?" He shouted back into the house a little louder. "Ah, he's probably plugged in to some music device- you just wait here, I'll send him right out."

Jade smiled again and Ted disappeared back into the house, leaving the door ajar. She could hear him calling Bobby again, and the sound of him going up the stairs. Ignoring the anxiety twisting in her stomach, Jade turned and sat down idly on one of the swings that were set up on their front lawn. She wondered if it was really the right thing to do to bring Bobby into this, but she couldn't see how else she could get to the bottom of what was going on.

"Jade?"

She looked up as Bobby appeared in the doorway, cocking his head at the unusual sight. He hopped onto the patio, bare-foot, then onto the manicured grass, and then up onto the swing next to her.

"You look sad."

Jade smiled and then recoiled in shock at herself as her face twisted and tears that she hadn't felt coming spilled down her cheeks.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry, Bobby." She said, as his face scrunched in indecision about what to do.

"Shall I get my mom? She's really good whenever I cry."

Jade's heart warmed. "You know what, I think I'll be okay this time. Thanks though, kid."

Bobby pressed his lips together as he tried to think of something that might be just as good to make her feel better. He hopped down from his swing, and gave her an awkward hug instead, both of them swinging a little as he leaned on her.

Jade patted his back and took a deep breath. "Look, Bobby, did you see Tori this morning? At your dad's place?"

He went pink. "The girl… from your car?"

"Yeah." Jade sniffed and tried to look like she was okay.

"Am I in trouble?" Bobby looked worried, and he seemed to shrink behind his glasses.

"No! No, you're not in trouble, I promise. I just need to know what you said to her, that's all."

The boy relaxed, but still looked cautious.

"Um." He frowned, trying to remember. "She said hi to me, because she recognised me. And then I said hi, and I asked if you were with her and she said you were but that you were in the car because you were tired."

"Okay." Jade said encouragingly. So far so good.

"And then I said you were probably tired from being out late, because my brother told me that he's seen you at the skate park with Clara, that you were there 'til really late, but that he didn't know why because he said you left with her for some privacy."

 _Oh fuck._

Jade's face must have conveyed her horror because Bobby became nervous again.

"Bobby." Jade tried to remember to blink so as not to scare him. "Did you say it exactly like that?"

"Like what?" He hopped back on his swing, watching her intently. Jade turned to face him properly.

"Tell me how you said that to her." She cleared her throat and softened her voice a little. "Y'know, if… if you can remember."

"I said it just like I told you, Jade. I said, 'My big brother saw Jade with Clara at the skate park last night real late, but he didn't know why because they left to go somewhere more private'."

Jade put her face in her hands and groaned.

"Are you sure you don't want me to get my mom..?" He added, looking at her like a puzzle he couldn't solve.

Jade stood up quickly. "No, buddy… Hey, look." She took another deep breath and forced herself to sit back down, looking over her shoulder at the house.

"I know this is kind of unfair on you, but can you do me a favour and tell them in there that I was just here about your paints? You don't have to-"

He just grinned. "I'm a nerd, not a nark."

Jade stared at him open mouthed, and then laughed loud enough to make Ted look out of the kitchen window at them.

"Okay." She said gratefully. "I appreciate it. And if you do need some paints, next round's on me, okay?"

Bobby's grin doubled. "Really?"

"Really really."

"Sweet!" He jumped down from his swing and Jade got up again, feeling a little steadier.

"Hey-"

Jade turned and looked back at him as she got to the garden gate.

"What I said to your friend- I wasn't lying or anything, it… it was just what my brother said." He looked kind of bummed out, assumedly at the idea someone had lied to him.

"No, I know. And he was telling the truth, it's just… I think the way it was repeated made Tori think you meant something else. It's stupid adult stuff, don't worry about it. And don't grow up, either. Stay a kid, its better."

"But adults can buy my paints."

"It's not a worthy trade, I promise." She smiled, waved to Ted through the window, and then got back in her car to go to Tori's.

-X-

As if to ensure her mood suffered a thorough fatality, Trina opened the door.

"Is Tori here?"

Trina looked her up and down. "Maybe."

Jade ground her teeth. "Trina, I need to know if Tori is here." She tried to stop the ice from seeping into her voice.

" _Need_?" Trina sneered. "Why do you _need_ to know?"

"Because, Trina, if I don't find out in the next five seconds, I might do something terribly violent." She growled, stepping closer.

Trina's eyes narrowed. "You don't scare me, you little-"

"Just let her in, Trina."

A familiar voice sounded from within the living room and Jade's heart dropped into her stomach.

Trina turned to look over her shoulder, exasperated. "What?! Not two minutes ago, your exact words were-"

"I know what I said. Let her in."

Trina sighed and turned back to Jade, who met her stare with her arms folded.

"Fine, I'll let you in. But you make my sister cry one more time and we'll see who resorts to violence."

Despite knowing she had done nothing wrong this time, Jade felt guilt wash over her. Trina stepped aside and without looking at her, Jade pressed past her into the house just in time to catch sight of Tori disappearing upstairs.

She followed her, feeling the older Vega sister's eyes burning into her back all the way up. Tori wasn't on the landing, and Jade continued on until she came to her room, pushing the door open cautiously.

"Hey." She said lamely, sounding fragile even to herself.

Tori was sitting on the edge of her bed, and took Jade by surprise when she looked straight at her.

Jade closed the door behind her. "I talked to Bobby. Tori, I swear to god, I know how he said it was really suggestive but he's just a kid, he didn't realise what he was implying."

Tori swallowed and looked at her feet. "He repeated what his brother said. His brother's near twenty, Jade."

Jade closed her eyes for a second, loathing every star that had aligned to pull this bullshit on her.

"I know, and that's my fault, I asked Clara if I could talk to her away from the others and he must have been one of the guys around the burn-bins, I'm sorry- I… We were just by the beach railings, you know, where the college kids eat their lunches on those steps. I swear." Jade's voice was pleading and the pain in Tori's eyes grew as she fought between wanting to believe what Jade was telling her, and not wanting to get her hope up in case it wasn't real.

"What were you talking about?" She asked, quietly.

"I…" Jade hugged herself. "You. I- Clara is the only other girl I know who is with another girl, she has been for ages, even longer than I was with Beck. And after yesterday, I couldn't sleep. Because I felt more than I expected for you and I didn't know how to tell if it was something real or it it was just because the day was a bit… _emotional_."

Tori was staring at her. "Why did you have to go somewhere else to ask her that?"

Jade gingerly came towards her and when she got no resistance, sat down next to her.

"Because her girlfriend has been in hospital for over a month, she overdosed and it's a sensitive topic. Clara is kind of like me, she doesn't do feelings in public, and definitely not surrounded by those kinds of people. I didn't want to ask her about how she knew Dee was the right person for her and upset her in front of people, so I suggested we move somewhere else."

Now Tori was thinking, her eyes flickering back and forth like she was reading something on the floor.

"I'm sorry." Jade said helplessly, "Please, Tori, believe me. I wouldn't just mess with you like that and then leave you _in my bed_ to go and mess with someone else."

Tori wiped away a tear. "I thought you used me." She said simply.

Jade felt the guilt rise up inside her again.

"I'm sorry. I should have just asked you like an adult. Oh god, and I got a little kid to be an adult for me!" She groaned miserably.

Jade smiled a little. "It's fine, I said I'd get the next paints on me. Though, not in the way you got the last paints on you."

Tori started giggling through her tears and Jade held her arms out hopefully.

"Forgive me?"

The brunette all but fell on her and Jade held onto her tightly, unable to believe how much she had missed her after only a day of being at all close.

"So what's with Trina down there? She nearly went for my throat."

Tori smiled apologetically as she pulled away. "Sorry. I didn't tell her anything, she just knew you'd been around and then I was upset, and…"

"And she made an educated assumption?"

"I _am_ sorry."

"Don't be." Jade sighed. "After all, she wasn't wrong."

Tori just smiled weakly and leaned back against Jade, closing her eyes.

"Can we go back to yours?" She asked after a few minutes of mutual contentedness.

"Sure." Jade agreed quietly, sitting up straight. "If you wanna stay over, feel free to take stuff with you."

Tori blushed. "Can I have your jumper again? It was comfortable." She excused quickly.

Jade nodded.

Trina looked ready to kill both of them when she saw Tori leaving with her newly sworn enemy, and Jade couldn't resist giving her a sly smile as she casually put a guiding arm around Tori's back to let her out of the door in front of her.

Jade's mom was still nowhere to be found upon arrival, and Jade didn't seem to care at all.

"Is your mom ever home?" Tori asked, obviously finding the situation odd having been brought up in such a close-knit family.

Jade shrugged as she closed the front door behind them. "No, not really. She works in Nevada so she spends two weeks there and then two weeks at home here, but recently thats turned more into two days home."

"Oh. Did her hours change or something?"

Jade smiled sadly. "No, nothing like that. I don't really know what she does, other than that she's about as high up as you can get in the chain- enough to pay off this place long before planned and rent an apartment near her work. But whenever anything happens, there's no one she can pass the buck to, she has to go in and sort it out. Which is hard when you're in a different state. So, recently, the place started to do really well- better than usual- and every time she'd get halfway home they'd call her back for something. After a while she just gave up. I don't really mind, I like having the place empty."

Tori tried to imagine what her life would be like if her house was empty every time she came home, and quickly found herself envious.

"If I get in the way at all, please just tell me." She said anxiously. "Not that I'm in any position to ask for anything of the sort after today."

Jade turned to look at her disapprovingly as she held her bedroom door open for the brunette.

"Tori…" She scolded softly. "Don't say that. It was just a stupid misunderstanding. And really, it was my fault."

Tori leaned her bag against the end of Jade's bed and then looked at her guiltily.

"It wasn't your fault. I acted like a total baby on the second-hand word of a little kid." She sat on Jade's bed miserably.

"I upset you, and then put you on edge all day."

"Come on, Vega. The whole thing was stupid, let's just forget about it? Please?"

Tori looked at her reflection in Jade's mirror ruefully. "Alright." She eventually agreed.

Jade fell back and lay on her bed, relief mixing with exhaustion. "Thank god. I thought I was going to have to spend all night persuading you."

Tori's back hit the bed next to her and she raised an eyebrow. "And how were you gonna do that?" She asked playfully.

Jade grinned. "You know, it's weird, but I feel like I would have found a way."

Tori started laughing. "You're full of it, Jade West."

Jade laughed too, poking the brunette in the ribs. "And you're buying by it the dozen." She parried, yelping as Tori jabbed her back. Tori jabbed her again as she giggled, and Jade tried to grab her wrists to save herself from another attack.

"Stop!" She laughed, grappling her, "No! I'm fragile!"

Tori fought her off and Jade rolled over to straddle her. "There, is this what you wanted?" She challenged, her hands protectively on her ribs.

"I'm not complaining." Tori smiled.

Jade leaned over her, and looked at her with some strange kind of fondness. "I missed you. In the small time you were gone, after the small time I had you. I missed you."

Tori's smile quirked and she tilted her hear to one side. "Had me, hm?"

Jade blushed and she scowled. "You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I know."

Tori gazed up at her and Jade's heart fluttered as she tugged on the ends of her hair, pulling her face down until she could reach up and capture the other girl's lips.

Jade hummed as she felt Tori's hands settle on her waist and she leaned into her more, wishing there was some way to know what the other girl was thinking. Her wishes became even more pronounced when she felt Tori's teeth nip her Bottom lip, and a small bolt went through her. She made a soft noise and caught Tori's jaw, smiling as she felt the girl's fingers curl into her shirt.

"We have to stop meeting like this." Jade joked quietly, smirking as Tori caught her breath.

"Why?" She murmured distractedly, her eyes drifting back town to Jade's mouth.

"One of us might get ideas." She teased, pressing her lips against the Latina's forehead.

It was Tori's turn to smirk, as she dug her nails into Jade's sides a little harder.

"I've got an idea." She said quietly.

Jade hitched a brow. "Vega, you're full of surprises." She would never have guessed that Tori was anything but innocent behind her smile, but her words had hit their mark and Jade kissed her again to try and hide it.

It didn't work all that well after Tori had watched Jade's eyes dilate but she didn't resist, settling back into Jade like she was home.

The ghost of the lead feeling that had sat in her stomach all day at the thought of Jade with someone else seemed to be taunting her, staring at her cruelly from the back of her mind. Her initial reaction to what Bobby had told her had been her usual subdued acceptance, and she hadn't known how to handle it at all when she realised she was actually hurt far more deeply that was reasonable. After all, Jade had only made out with her a few times- perhaps with an intensity that to Tori was new enough to make it meaningful, but Jade had never pledged herself to her in any way, and the brunette hadn't liked how possessive she'd started to feel as the day had progressed. She wasn't that kind of person, and even if Jade _had_ gone and met with someone else, Tori had no claim over her to dispute it; whether she liked it or not, Jade was free to be with whomever she wanted.

Curious, Tori carefully tried to resurrect how she'd felt just a few hours before as she felt Jade's tongue touch her own, handling the emotion as it she were afraid it might suddenly explode in her face.

She focused, and after a moment or two, she could feel the same odd possessiveness thrumming through her. Kissing Jade, being so close to Jade, whilst letting that feeling breathe, she quickly found, had profound effects on her self control, and she suffocated it before she accidentally crossed a line which she hadn't been invited over.

Regardless of the specifics, Tori admitted, she was falling into a very deep hole with how she felt about Jade, one that had blindsided her, and one that should Jade pull away from she would have a very hard time getting back out of if she fell too deep.

As far as the Latina could see, it stood to go one of two ways; either Jade felt like she did, and was falling into this with her, or Jade was- as she had given clear warning of- exploring a curiosity which Tori had completely consented to in the first place, which was likely going to end in Tori watching her with someone else for real. Then again, had Jade not said already that she wasn't confused anymore? Was that the same thing as no longer feeling curious? Probably not.

She forced her mind to stop before the wrong part of this situation consumed her.

The moment her head quietened, Jade's lips left her own and she rested her forehead against Tori's with her eyes closed.

"What are you thinking?" She asked, not opening her eyes.

Tori hummed. "Funny you should ask, I just stopped."

"Hm. What _were_ you thinking?" Jade adjusted.

The brunette closed her eyes too and tried to think of where to begin. "I was thinking about how deep a hole I was falling into with my feelings on you. And about how there wasn't all that high a chance you were doing the same. And how I was going to fix my head when you found someone else." She finished honestly, ignoring the anxiety that stabbed through her as she forced the words out.

Jade's eyes opened and Tori felt her eyelashes brush her skin. "Tori…" She said softly.

"It's okay." Tori said. "It's not your fault."

Jade couldn't help but smile. "You dork." She murmured, smiling more broadly as Tori scowled at her and kissing the corner of her eye. "I'm not going to find someone else, because I'm not going to go looking. I already told you, you solved the problem I had the first time- I'm not still here, because I _don't_ like you."

Tori tiled her head at her but before she could over think anymore, Jade cut across her.

"Tori, I want you. I didn't set out with the intention of that becoming a reality, I had no ulterior motives to this, I really didn't- but that doesn't change the fact. I want you, alright? I've said it."

Tori's dark eyes searched Jade's pale green ones for what felt like years before she blinked, finally, and said, "I think I want you too."


End file.
